Welcome to the official site of 
Nude Man Carrot®
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Read along as we discover the incredible story of this bizarre and lewd vegetable that forever changed the life of Maui recording artist Liam Selwyn.
 
 

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"He was real [sic] quiet and kept pretty much to himself.  He never bothered nobody." - Betsy Duncan - Nude Man Carrot's neighbour
He hopped into the car and we started talking.  It was dark at this point and I had no idea that the passenger beside me was really a nude man carrot.  It became apparent that he had no place to stay that night so I offered my spare room for the night.   He accepted graciously and we headed home.  It wasn't until I got into the kitchen and flipped the light on that I realized who this hitchhiker really was.  The light poured over his orange body revealing total carrot NUDENESS and I doubled over in shock.  He just slyly grinned at me and sat against the counter playfully looking at the vegetable chopping block nearby.
I walked over for a closer look, and sure enough, this carrot was no ordinary carrot.  It was  Nude Man Carrot and was not shy about it at all.  Although one of his legs was shorter than the other due to clinical trials of a new fertilizer by his mother, he was fully anatomically correct.  It didn't take me long to start blushing and I offered him one of my fine Hawai'ian sarongs.  But no, not for nude man carrot.  He explained to me that he finds clothes to be cumbersome at best and downright unnatural for a carrot.

"No one ever imagined that he would be a nudist. The neighbourhood is really in shock." - Marty Chang - President of the local PTA.

 

As much as he was flirting with me, I still didn't know if he was straight or gay.
 I decided to pack it in for the night and despite my best efforts to get Nude Man Carrot into the spare room, he just lay down on the chopping block so that I could see EVERYTHING!  What a tease.

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